Little Britain

"Is this really happening!?" asked Chris incredulously. The waiters eyes looked in two directions simultaneously, so you were never quite sure who he was looking at.  Like a scene from Little Britain, the only gay  (waiter) in the village had plonked himself at our table, introducing himself with 'Ooh nice boys, what can i get you my darling?'    Taking our food order and addressing Chris, Tony, or me (who knows?)  the conversation was full of sexual innuendo that culminated in him suggesting that he couldn't stand up as he had a chubbie in his purple Y-fronts. 

I'd arrived on the Friday evening, whilst Tony and Chris, being men of leisure ;o), had an earlier start and used the day time to ride Rudland Rigg and other lanes.   We were starving when we met on the Friday night and made our way to the 'Fox Hound' in Flixton. The establishment is renowned locally for giant american sized portions and a massive dose of man love innuendo.   

Whilst we ate our enormous meals, Carl, my Brother in Law, and Dave a burley builder who is normally tormented by the waiter, were laughing like teen girls and enjoyed a conversation about their diets.  On this night, in this little village, the world had gone mad.

The following day we were late getting up, perhaps a result of one too many beers, and so Enduro Tony, Wheelie Chris and I were late to meet Six Bikes Rich on Saturday morning.  We were following a planned route around the Moors and surrounding countryside of approximately 100 miles.

Setting off from Kirkbymoorside we covered Rudland Rigg first, where my sidestand promptly fell off, balls!  That's the third time a bolt has come loose, loctite will be my answer to the problem.  Luckily Six Bikes Rich is a travelling bike garage and had a spare set of bolts, so we were fixed up in minutes. (Thanks Rich!)

Below,  our steeds; Three KTM 300EXC TPI's and One KTM 500

At the most northern point of the route, above, there's a steep drop off. I mean, most of us call this type of feature on the land 'a cliff', i certainly still do, but the others were actually considering riding down it.

Look at them, above and below, carefully surveying the quickest way to throw a bike off a plateau.    Thankfully they thought better of it, but later lamented that decision.  Nutters

It was in this area that a friendly Mountain Biker wanted to take our picture 'to send to his cousin in Abu Dhabi'  hmmm....  I think he fancied rugged looking Enduro Tony.

The two water crossings i'd found last year i'd added onto today's route, the second one i wasn't able to cross last time as the water was too high.  As we approached them Rich was on point and sped off before i could warn him. This is the version of events i tell myself anyway. I smiled as he buggered off and he mentioned it to me later. haha.

Somewhere near Danby one of us got a puncture.  Id never seen a roadside repair so was quite interested.

... is it really flat?

Yep...

 Whilst Rich held the bike and Tony and Chris did the spannering i spoke to two other KTM riders who had turned up.  They spoke highly of a pub in Church Houses called the Feversham Arms that's situated next to an off road route.  I'll  pop in next time.

Guess who forgot check the tyre for nails and thorns before fitting the spare tube?...

We finished at about 4pm, so that was about 6hrs riding and we didn't stop for lunch.  A good day.
"Any time spent on the bike, is good time" said six bikes Rich as he parted company.

The rest of us made our way back to Folkton and took the opportunity to enjoy some cricket.  The local team was very good, they were hitting sixes, which made standing outside a little exciting / dangerous .

Obviously we learnt nothing from our experiences in the Fox Hounds on Friday and headed back for more food and innuendo.  On this occasion the waiter disappeared to prepare the desserts and took delight in informing us that Chris' was made from his own 'special cream' and it took some time to shake up. mmmm delicious.